The memories I have of incidents
when I witnessed someone else as the target of bias, prejudice, and/or
oppression occur almost weekly. As a teacher in a diverse school filled with an
equally diverse staff affords me the chances to witness relationships,
encounters, and exchanges between those two groups. Most instances are subtle,
even non- recognizable to others, but as we are studying micro-aggressions, I
am hyper focused on what I witness.
Dr. Sue Laureate, 2010
The first of these instances
places me as the unintentional aggressor. I teach kindergarten, and we allow,
and encourage parents to come up and have lunch with their children. The
parents can assist other children that may need it, and it helps to build
community in our class. One child had a rough beginning. He arrived speaking no
English, and having never been in a learning setting away from his mom. He
tried to run away, and we had to “bar the door” to keep him from running out.
Very quickly, he realized school was safe and fun and began to tell his mom not
to wait outside our door. Mom would arrive at lunch, and hand feed him. It was
as if he was a toddler and couldn’t do it himself. In the beginning, I would
tell her “No, he can do it on his own.” Because of mom’s limited English, she
didn’t understand my words, but she did feel my condemnation. After returning
after the Winter Break, I no longer said anything. The child was making such
incredible progress that I wanted her to focus on that.
When beginning this class, I recognized my
micro-aggressions towards this family and have changed my approach. I realize
that meals, and the way they are handled are part of this family’s culture and
I have no right to impede on their methods. This child has pushed back in small
steps and he no longer lets her feed him, and their methods naturally move away
from this. What I overlooked is the bonding that occurs during these lunches. I
overlooked her motives for seeing her child each day. That was my error.
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In order to turn this incident
into an opportunity for greater equity, I simply checked my ego. It was my ego
that said, “Kindergarteners can’t be helped to eat their lunch.” “They are too
big for help.” When we check our own biases and let go of the implied power we
hold, it puts parents and teachers on a more level playing field. Teachers don’t
need to play a power card in order to be effective.
At this time of year, I am right here with this....Happy "Almost Summer Teachers!"
I really enjoyed your posts. Actually, I enjoy most of your posts. They are written and told in a way that is very relevant and easily relatable. Thank you for sharing your story about meal time. It is something that I have seen also and my thoughts have been exactly the same as yours.
ReplyDeleteJulianne I really enjoyed reading your post. Your story is like some many other stories where teachers are working with students that have limited English and trying to support them. Making the families first of all feel safe and accepted was wonderful. I like the idea that parents are able to come and have lunch with their child. It seems like mom does not want her little one to grow up and with the language barrier, communication seems difficult. Supporting the family is great way to go.
ReplyDeleteThis post is interesting. I am a parent that choose to do things that are unconventional to some people. I still assist my children in doing certain things, and those particular things still work for our family and our relationship. I have had other adults approach me and say things like " You don't need to feed him he is three" "Put him down and let him walk he is too big" "Let her dress herself" None if it has affected my with my children, because I realize that this is bonding time with my children.
ReplyDeleteThis post is interesting. I am a parent that choose to do things that are unconventional to some people. I still assist my children in doing certain things, and those particular things still work for our family and our relationship. I have had other adults approach me and say things like " You don't need to feed him he is three" "Put him down and let him walk he is too big" "Let her dress herself" None if it has affected my with my children, because I realize that this is bonding time with my children.
ReplyDelete