Micro Aggressions

It didn't happen this week, but it has happened often in relationship to me having daughters that are born in Russia.

"Why didn't you adopt in the US? There are many needy children here."

"Do your girls know their REAL mom?"

"Don't you hate it that your girls were born in Russia since they are so against the US?"

It could go on and on..Most don't mean to be ignorant, but it is exhausting at times to here these things..When I adopted, Russian American relations were fine, and now that we hate each other, I get the comments much more. Thank you Putin.

I just hope that my girls don't here it too much when I am not around. I don't want that stress on them.

Week 3

Many friends consider the history of their family to be part of their culture. Language, religion, ethnicity, and traditions, are the main elements that most colleagues used to define CULTURE.

Many consider diversity as different races, cultures, religious groups and political affiliations.

Because I gathered my results from coworkers, we tend to share very similar ideas on culture and diversity. 

Culture and Diversity

I have loads of friends who are from different countries, faiths, and points of view...
Most think that culture is about Where they come from..What their family finds valuable..And Why families hold these beliefs...

Some of my friends face micro-agression as indicated by Dr. Sue. Most on a basic level, by well meaning friends. I have always heard adoptive parents speak of the comments made to them, but honestly I have never been affected by those comments. Beleive me, I hear them too.

--WOW, your daughters look like they could be your REAL daughters.---
How much did you pay for your daughter?---
---Couldn't you adopt in American?---
---Do your daughters know their real mom?---

But being the comments come from well meaning people, I let it go..AND because these microaggressions are the least of who I am, I let them go..I am so much more than an adopted mother, and the comments are mild at best..I haven't faced them all my life, nor do people make them unless they know I am an adoptive mother, which is my choice to share...So, as Pete the Cat says, "I am allll goooood."

Memories

(I began this course several months ago and had to drop it due to some family chaos, I wrote this during the first time through the course..and it still holds true!)

If relocating to a new country, the three items I would take is a small, Rolling Thunder Bible, a small Christmas tree, and a photo album from a family trip to Disney World.

The Rolling Thunder Bible was given to my eldest daughter when she and her aunt when to the festival in 2006. Later that year I took that Bible to Russia to meet my second adopted daughter. While meeting her, I placed her foot on one of the empty pages and traced the outline of it so I would know how big her foot was at that time. These are precious memories that connect my sister, both of my daughters, Russia and my faith. I treasure this Bible.

The Christmas tree represents one of our favorite American holidays. Our family gathers together and has time to be with each other. eat our favorite foods, and attend holiday services at Christmas Time.

The photo album from our Disney Trip shows a traditional American vacation. We celebrated our birthdays there, and both grandparents were there to watch the fun!

 

I would be angry if, upon arrival, I were told that I could only keep one personal  item.

For me, culture is most about family and love. It’s not things, but traditions that bring families together.

EECERJ

I chose the EECERJ website, and once I landed on it, I realized I have been here before..And I was just as irritated this time as I was last time.  I know we have all seen this type of web site that ruins it for the organization. I bet this group does valuable projects, but after spending a second night clicking, going back, refreshing, scratching my head and trying different areas, I realize...I should have chosen a different group..but too late, so ::

What are some of the current international research topics?

This website didn't list any CURRENT articles. Most recent are from 2011.


What surprising facts/insights/new ideas about early childhood did you gain from exploring this international early childhood website?
This website is horrible to review! I spent the better part of an hour just trying to find something substantial that this group has contributed. It's altogether very possible that this group has done amazing things, but the website is just a circular maze of nothingness..
Who we are, our contacts, etc...yet it appears from the surface it is a group that exists just to exist..I hope this is not the case..Most of the site describes how to submit, who decides what gets accepted, BUT where are the articles????
**Little background, I contacted about 10 people from the Country contacts and either landed on dead links or never got a reply..TACKKY!! I had hoped to use this site for assistance and found a lot of dead ends!

What other noteworthy information did you find on this website?

As I stated earlier, nothing can be readily found on this site..You have to actually leave the site and head over to Taylor Francis to find any of the journal articles..Except you can't get to them without way too much fuss..
I ended up finding the articles, most from 2011, so I have to wonder what's this group been doing with their dues for the last couple of years??

The Magical Sea

I have often considered an area of research concerning the secure attachment in adopted children through the use of water therapy, specifically, the ocean therapy..I have never read about this, and because this is so specific, I almost doubt that the research is out there.

The area of attachment for adopted children often leads to false diagnosis, inappropriate medications being prescribed, behavior therapy, and at the most tragic end, the disruption of the adoption...

Our family has spent our summers in Florida since becoming a part of the adoption world..When I adopted the first time, my daughter and I spent hours together floating in the ocean..For hours. And the time we spent together seemed to solidify our union..I always said, there is magic in the sea. And I still believe it..

This weekend, we are in Florida for our family reunion. And once again our little family is together splashing in the waves, sitting in the sand, and doing a lot of starring into the sea, the magical sea..If I had all the time and money in the world, I would develop a program for struggling adoptive families, or any family that may have experienced intense stressors or trauma. The magic of the ocean needs to be put into a scientific equation to help develop trust, and build attachment..

from many years ago..building our love of the sea, and each other

This is the basis of my belief...The sea is magical and helps heal..

creating a sisterly bond...

And all these years later...

2014

Research Simulation English Language Learner Math Assessment Accommodations

“Math test accommodations for English Language Learners in kindergarten” is my chosen topic for our current simulation.

I chose this area for simulation, as the KMRA testing instrument is currently used in kindergarten students in the district where I teach. This instrument is blind to language ability, yet requires each child to describe and explain math processes with specific vocabulary. There are seven tasks that each child must master.

Each child must explain the elements of the tasks, explain the actions of the tasks, and use the required vocabulary of the task.

Other topics considered were too broad in scope

Completing the research chart on a given study highlighted the process of forming a “purpose” of a simulated study. The research chart also allowed for a narrowing of the participants of a simulated study. For purposes of my particular simulation, I would use all students in my kindergarten class. Those who are not English Language Learners, as classified by the parent report measure at registration, would be used as a control group.

As a first step, I have begun an exhaustive search in regards to language acquisition, receptive and expressive language, and English Language Learners. Due to the assessment requirement of using language and vocabulary during the KMRA testing process, understanding language acquisition processes are critical. Below is a concise charts highlighting the basic tenants these constructs.

Hill & Miller (2013).  I will continue compiling current research in order to plan.

References

Hill, J. D., & Miller, K. B. (2013). Classroom instruction that works with English language 

                      learners. ASCD.

International Contacts and Goals

Considerations through study of Russian Early Childhood Programs and Practices:

1)While spending time researching the methods and trends in early childhood practices in Russia, I can't help but consider the similarities when thinking of inequity in the United States. While some programs in both countries are stellar, some are far below standards and survive based solely on the generosity of a few. The programs that excel are those in larger areas, supported by private dollars, and based on the cultural expectations of the surrounding areas.

Inequity can be devastating for children in rural areas in both the US and Russia. Those are the areas that are least supported by government or private dollars. At times, there are no options available for rural families.

2) While reading and sharing information with my Russian friends, parents, and teachers who live in Russia, I realize that I am still passionate about the country. I am still interested in family structures, how young children learn, and what the program of studies looks like in a Russian preschool. I have often wondered if phonics is an issue, if play is a factor, and if teachers are compelled to assess the very young children like we are forced to do in US kindergartens???

3) Through basic study of the language and it's translation, I understand that there is a variance in how children formulate sentence structure, and the basics of sound letter relationships are vastly different. In a smalllllllll way, Russian is somewhat easier. (Obviously if its the first language). Sounds are sounds, either hard or soft, and words are words. No special rules such as we have with our vowels..Long A, short a, sound diagraphs and blends such as (au   ai   oa   ay)  ...I wonder if the children in Russia have less trouble learning to write as there are some hard-fast rules that make it easier for the children to begin writing...

Professional Goal Associated with the Study of Russian Early Childhood Trends in Early Childhood Programs and Practices

I have studied Russian preschools, elementary schools, and the education system for 10 years. My interest has always been personal as I would love to teach in Russia. I would love to write a paper on early childhood education and how the country educates it's orphans with a focus on those with disabilities.

How We Celebrate Beginnings and Endings

We are in HIGH graduation season around the United States. My family is doubly involved. Last week my daughter graduated from her elementary school, and this week my kindergarteners have their big celebration. When I say it has consumed our team, I am not just saying it. Every day we practice, everyday we make little things here or there, and I am delighted at what we will present, but every bone in my body aches.  We want this for our parents. We want them to see how big this milestone is.. We want our little ones to shine and be adorable singing their little songs...

Meanwhile in Russia, the celebrations look a bit different. We have a saying, "a dog and pony show" that fits for both American and Russian celebrations, What do you think about the Russian version?
I adore it..I like the idea of bringing together a small group of children. In our school we will put together a show for 90 children. It's big, and overwhelming for the teachers. (When I say I have blisters, cuts, burns, and body aches from the preparation I am not kidding!)
 Here is a family as they journey through the special day of Kindergarten Graduation.
*This is a lovely day for this family, and we learn by the father's comments in the beginning that even in Russia, this is a touching time for families. Children in more developed programs in larger areas in Russia go to a Kindergarten as young as 2 and stay until they are finishing when they are six years old. They begin elementary school at around aged seven. I love this idea.
If US schools could develop "Kindergartens" at the state level for 3, 4, 5 AND 6 year olds, we would have a better chance at keeping our children little, and keeping our programs for age appropriate!

I love the idea of a toast at the end offered by the director... Really seems like all families are involved. **All Russian cities do not have this type of program, and this is for one group of students at this particular school. I love how formal some parts are, and that they share a meal..Just lovely!

SRCD Review

#1 Search Led to the Press Releases of the SRCD

While digging around the site, I chose to focus on the press releases. I found a great paper written on working memory. Some highlights of that:

Working memory once thought to be affected by both that parents’ education—one common measure of socioeconomic status—is related to children’s 

performance on tasks of working memory, and that neighborhood characteristics—another common measure of socioeconomic status—are not. 

Neither parents’ education nor living in a disadvantaged neighborhood was found to be 

associated with the rate of growth in working memory across the four-year period. Lower parental 

education was found to be tied to differences in working memory that emerged by age 10 and 

continued through adolescence. 

The study suggests that disparities seen in adolescence and adulthood start earlier in childhood 

and that school does NOT close the gap in working memory for children ages 10 and above. Generally, 

children whose parents had fewer years of education don’t catch up or fall further behind by the end of 

adolescence, when working memory performance reaches mature levels.

So what do we learn? For me, my heart breaks a little for my students. While a very small percentage hold high school and college diplomas, most parents have only finished 2-3 years beyond elementary school, in their home country. Strike one against my students. 

What else do we learn? The neighborhood in which my students live is not as important as their parent's education. So if they are living in subsidized housing with parents that continued their education in their home country, but cannot transfer that into prosperous employment in the US, they still have a fighting chance. PLUS for them.

Working memory is neither stationary or reliant upon school. 

#2 Outside Links

I found a great link this week. http://www.childtrends.org/

This is the place where research across the country is housed for early childhood programs. Lot's of good information here, and lot's of work being compiled. I like it that the mission of the organization is clear, the reports are clear, and the data is listed. Too many NonProfits seem to exist, just to exist with links to others doing work in the field. Not this one...

Highlights:

• In 49 states and the District of Columbia, child-level data across different ECE programs are not all linked. Only one state – Pennsylvania – can link child-level data across all ECE programs and to the state’s K-12 data system. Most states cannot answer key policy questions about all children served in publicly-funded early care and education programs because ECE child-level data is not linked.
• 30 states reported securely linking ECE child-level data to states’ K-12 data, compared to 20 states that link ECE child-level data to social services data and 12 states that link ECE child-level data to states’ health data. A number of states are engaged in planning processes to create these linkages between state health (22 states) and social services (18 states) data systems.
• State coordinated ECE data systems are more likely to link data for children participating in state pre-kindergarten and preschool special education than children in Head Start or subsidized child care programs. More states securely link preschool special education data (25 states) or state-prekindergarten data (23 states) than link federal Head Start (9 states) or subsidized child care (12 states) data.
• 36 states collect state-level child development data from ECE programs and 29 states capture kindergarten entry assessment data. Aggregate data on developmental screening and assessment, including kindergarten readiness assessment (collected by 29 states), can be useful at a state level to track, over time, the trends in children’s developmental status and need for early intervention and/or special education services. More information is needed about the proportion of programs participating in these state systems and how this development and assessment information is being used.
• 32 states have designated an ECE data governance entity to guide the development and use of a state coordinated longitudinal ECE data system. Over one-half of states have established an ECE data governance structure to assist with strategic planning, secure data sharing across public agencies, and ensure appropriate, secure use of data. These governance entities are well positioned to coordinate data across the multiple state agencies that administer a patchwork of state and federally funded programs.

(Many counties across the states do not link ECE data with elementary data)

#3  This website contains information that adds to my understanding of equity and excellence in early care and education, which is clearly stating that we need to link resources, data, research, and social services information. We have a long way to go if we want equity across the states.

What new Info Did I find related to our current study? WALAAA! This one is a great set of lists of Five..Check them out, not all are about early childhood. Some are related to parenting, families, and culture. __________________________________________________________________________________ Child Trends 5 is a new monthly publication from Child Trends. April 26, 2013 President Obama's early learning initiative proposal includes strategies to increase access to high-quality preschool and expand the Early Head Start - Child Care Partnership program serving infants and toddlers. While Congress will debate plan funding and implementation, research provides solid guidance for bolstering quality across the diverse array of early care and education settings and programs. As the country considers a historic expansion of early care and education opportunities for young children, Child Trends offers a list of five ways to improve their quality:  Focus first on children's safety, health, and happiness.  Regardless of setting, children's safety, health, and happiness are the non-negotiable elements of quality care and education. Minimizing risk and maximizing children's opportunities to engage with teachers, caregivers, other children, and the world around them are essential strategies for promoting physical health and social-emotional, language, and cognitive development. Rigorous licensing regulations and regular monitoring of programs are essential. Yet a review of existing state regulations indicates that current protections for children are inadequate.

Support the early care and education workforce.  The administrators, teachers, and caregivers working with young children each day are at the center of creating high-quality early care and education. The current workforce has a low education level, and average annual incomes for some workers are under the federal poverty level for a family of four, despite efforts to promote higher qualifications and access to professional development. Further efforts should target improvements in the quality and content of early childhood education preparation programs; opportunities for supervised internships and student teaching; ongoing professional development that is rigorous and relevant; compensation parity; andcoaching, consultation, and mentoring that facilitates the application of new knowledge to everyday practice.

Use observations and assessments to support every child's needs across all developmental domains.  High-quality programs regularly collect information about children's physical, cognitive, social, and emotional development. The National Research Councilhas published guidance on choosing and using child assessments that are appropriate for children's developmental, cultural and linguistic characteristics. The results of assessments should guide communications with parents, teaching strategies, curricula, and activities to help each child learn and develop in the way that works best for him/her. Ideally, such assessments would also align with states' guidelines on what children should know and be able to do upon kindergarten entry.

Create a culture of continuous quality improvement.  High-quality early care and education programs never stop improving. Continuous improvement starts with program leaders who engage themselves and staff in reflecting on strengths and growth areas through self-assessments, feedback from colleagues and parents, and data collected about the quality of their program, classroom, or child care home. Professional development and technical assistance can be linked to growth areas, and programs as a whole can annually update goals, objectives and strategies for improving services. State Quality Rating and Improvement Systems offer quality standards, professional development supports and incentives to guide the quality improvement process.

Build partnerships to support quality. Quality early care and education programs are supported by a larger early childhood service system that includes access to health care andmedical homes for young children, social-emotional development and mental health services that focus on prevention and intervention, comprehensive parent engagement that is responsive to parents' needs, and family support services to help families access resources and build their capacity to support their children's development. An effective early childhood system is dependent on strong partnerships among early childhood settings and across service-delivery systems; coordination of resources; and alignment of standards, which are critical for promoting quality early care and education programs that can meet the full range of children's and families' needs.

Back To Russia...

In order to understand Russia, you'd have to understand that Moscow and St. Petersburg are not the truest representation of Russia. There are thousands upon thousands of miles of plains, coasts, tundras, and countrysides that present a mush more accurate representation of how Russians live.

As for the current standards of Russian early childhood care, it is as vast as the territory. But one area is consistent among most state run schools, "you get what you get."

Many families are encouraged to send gifts to the teachers to encourage her/him to take special care for their child. Many families accept this practice as law, and expect that special care will be offered. Often, children do not attend any sort of early childhood program prior to beginning their first year. Children are left at home with family members if both parents work, and are rigorously pushed when they begin their first years. In most cities, state schools are the only option. There are no private schools unless there are expats that support it.

I did end up finding two resources in Russia. Both are American, but one is the father of a child who has always attended Russian schools. He loathes most of the process, and worries that his child is being hurt by the harsh practices of the teachers. She did attend a type of preschool that only met several times a week and focused on music only. 

The other resource is a teacher in one of the largest private expat supported schools in Moscow. She echoed the sentiment of the harshness of state schools. Through her experience and time in Russia she has seen a very slow change in the attitudes about early childhood education, but admits programs are primarily privately offered and only available to the wealthier families. Research has shown me that the cost of a full day program in Moscow for 3 and 4 year olds is roughly 15-18K per year, that fee would leave out most in America as well...

Society for Research in Child Development

This post reflects the information gleaned from the 

Society for Research in Child Development

While reviewing sections of the  website  I found a  publication called:

Social Policy Report Brief.
 It is an open publication and provides a wealth of information. The focus of this publication is multilingual children. This is my bread and butter, and I am always interested in new information on this topic. One section offers information about research,

What the Research Says 

• Multilingual children in the United States 

often come from immigrant families that are 

disproportionately low income and are often 

exposed to risks low-income families face. Many 

fail to develop enough English to keep pace with 

peers or lose competence in the home language as 

it is gradually replaced with English.

• However, when children are raised in high-quality 

language environments where both first and 

subsequent languages are valued and used, 

learning multiple languages has cognitive, social, 

and potentially economic benefits.

• Children need to hear responsive, diverse, and 

complex talk about objects and events that 

interest them. Because it is best when such talk 

comes from native speakers, parents should be 

encouraged to speak the language(s) with which 

they feel most comfortable.

• Studies of children in environments that actively 

support multilingualism indicate that, if children are 

spoken to (with high-quality language) and learn to 

speak two languages, by about 10, they can do as 

well as monolingual children in both languages and 

experience the benefits of multilingualism.

Reference.
Society for Research and Development. (2014) Social Policy Report Brief. Retrieved from 

http://www.srcd.org/sites/default/files/documents/washington/spr_brief_2014_04_09_multilingualchildren.pdf

When reading through the website, I have come to realize that the many layers of economists, neuroscientists that are involved in this organization are far removed from the classroom. Although the research support the early childhood field,  it takes time to filter down to schools and programs. Honestly, it seems like the focus is not on what is happening in our classrooms, rather on research, data, and funding sources.

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When reading any article or publication that deals with adoption, my "uh-oh" meter rises. It seems that not many researchers and or publications feel successful children who were adopted do not make it to print..One day, maybe one day someone will do a study on children adopted from orphanages and find that when the transition to a family occurs, many of the orphanage behaviors slowly fade away..Maybe, but this article references a study that proved children adopted from orphanages or hospitals have a high chance of iron deficiencies and may suffer cognitive deficits because of this. The research may be sound,  but I found it odd that there were only 55 children studied. Given the number of children adopted from orphanages, institutions, foster care, and hospitals I am not sure the outcome relates well to the pool of adopted children. I would think that the participant pool would need to be larger in order for the study to be accepted.

Baby #2 Adopted from Novosibirsk. First medical at home gave her a clean bill of health. No iron deficiency here!

Baby #1 Adopted From Siberia, Russian Far East. 13 months old. This is her first picture outside of the orphanage. Came home with exact immunizations, and a clean bill of health. No iron deficiency here

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• What other new insights about issues and trends in the early childhood field did you gain from exploring the website or e-newsletter.  This week I spent a lot time reviewing the funding sources of Society for Research in Child Development. Although this is a non-profit, it must raise money to support it's programs. It must raise millions through the variety of organizations and government agencies who support it. Wouldn't it be nice if child care centers, HeadStart programs, and schools had that kind of monetary support?

Conversations and New Region

What I have learned trying to establish relationships with Russian professionals, is some cultural differences are beyond logic..After contacting 4 well established Russian owned, yet expat supported preschools...NOTHING

After contacting countless resource agencies, non-profits (both US and Russian based)  NOTHING

After getting a lead or two, even through friends, NOTHING

This is the culture of Russia. There is a basic level of trust that is absent. I want nothing but a conversation, yet it feels like I am asking for a state secret.
I spent years dealing with Russian officials while adopting. There was one big difference, they wanted money, and would move mountains to make sure they got mine..When it's a simple favor or act of random kindness, not so much...
So, I am moving onto Romania..

___________________________________________________________________
Information on Poverty in Romania:

Low agricultural productivity is one of the main causes of poverty in rural Romania. Poor small-scale farmers do not have the collateral to secure loans that would enable them to invest in agricultural inputs and equipment to improve their incomes. And in rural areas there are limited opportunities for formal employment opportunities, partly because of minimum wage regulations, high payroll taxes and the rigid labour code. Inadequate social services, reflected in the poor condition of rural health centers, long distances to schools and poor sanitation facilities, also contribute to rural poverty.

Reference: IFAD

IFAD’s strategy in Romania focused on supporting rural credit services so that farmers could invest in inputs and equipment, and develop on-farm and off-farm opportunities for generating income. The objective was to improve rural people’s incomes and standards of living, reducing rural poverty.

Country strategic opportunities paper (2003)

Source: IFAD

SRCD

About the:

Society for Research in Child Development

The field of child development received formal recognition in 1922-23 through the appointment of a subcommittee on Child Development of the National Research Council. In 1925, under the direction of Robert S. Woodworth, an eminent experimental psychologist, this group became the Committee in Child Development with offices and staff in the National Academy of Sciences. The purpose of the committee was to integrate research activities and to stimulate research in child development. The committee awarded fellowships, initiated conferences, and began publications. In 1927, 425 scientists were listed in the Directory of Research in Child Development and that same year the first volume of Child Development Abstracts and Bibliography was published. In 1933 the Committee on Child Development disbanded and passed the torch to the newly organized Society for Research in Child Development (SRCD).

Retrieved From http://www.srcd.org/about-us

From the Organization Newsletter “Developments”

http://www.srcd.org/sites/default/files/documents/572.pdf

Important Changes in Research Reporting

http://www.srcd.org/sites/default/files/documents/washington/common_rule_electronic_use_pages_1-4_4.1.13.pdf

This is a key change to the way research of children and adolescents is conducted and reported. We learn how detailed the process of scholarly research must be when children are involved.

Research Bank

The SRCD works specifically with peer reviewed research. When a topic study is needed this site offers a databank of approved topics and studies.  The site given for the sharing of information is:

http://www.icpsr.umich.edu/icpsrweb/ICPSR/index.jsp

This site will be helpful for all doing research and study in the field of psychology, education, and sociology.
This is my favorite site this week!


Most Interesting is an article of the most controversial studies in child psychology since 1960.
I'll give you the top study, so you can get a taste of what is there.

 Belsky, J. (1986).  "Infant day care: A cause for concern? Zero to Three, 7, 1-7.

I can imagine why this was controversial..Can you?

International Professionals-Russia

Establishing professional contacts is difficult in any given situation, but finding Russian early childhood professionals willing to share ideas, experiences, and methods is proving to be difficult. Beyond the language barrier, there are the issues of trust, US-Russian relations, and a simple matter of time differences and distance.

I have reached out in several ways:

*) Contacted TS,  Americangirls.  A teacher friend who lives and teaches in a Russian school was my first step.  Reached out through Facebook.    

*) I also reached out to the Facebook page of the Russian Embassy's Cultural Centre page for advice and direction. https://www.facebook.com/RussianCulturalCentre

*) Contacted the INSTITUTE FOR GLOBAL EDUCATION DIPLOMACY  with requests.

*) Contacted AK for an introduction to a couple of her friends who are involved in Russian children's charities. These folks are Russian born and familiar with the educational system.

*) Contacted through email Russian Education Development Fund "Soobchestvo" including several representatives in the organization. Received a reply with an additional name.

*) Contacted early childhood teachers at    www.littleangels.ru

*) Contacted on YouTube;  WELS Mission in Russia. (Missionaries working in Novosibirsk Siberia Russia).

Schools  and educational practices are Very Different in Russia. This young lady explains the system well. 

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I spent the weekend reading and reviewing this website. There is a lowered fee of $75.oo that I may just pay to join this society. There are many articles and research results.

emotionally, practically, and physically.

No, we don't choose our family, but if I did, I'd probably choose the same people who surround me today.
And today, we are very much struggling with grief, sadness, and worry. Today is Sunday, and my father has driven to North Florida to be with his only surviving brother as he winds down his time on earth. He has been sick for almost a year, and now the family has been called into be with him. We are at the end...As a family of 8 siblings, my dad has been here before. All that remains are his two sisters. He is in the middle of the group, so both older and younger siblings have gone before him. I will wait for the news that he has passed and plan a quick trip to Florida for the funeral..I won't take my girls. The emotional tole on them ups the stakes, and right now, I don't want them putting it together that their cousins grandpa has passed away, A grandpa who is younger than their own. The last funeral they attended was their great grandmothers. We were able to keep them out of the chapel until the casket was closed, but when it was time for me to do a reading, I sort of lost it up there...And both of my daughters screamed in the middle of the service, "MOMMMMMMYYYYY..." and had to be held from running up to me. They are empathetic children to their core, and if mommy is hurting, they are aching with me. So they will stay home with my every devoted mother who will step in for me. Support, practical and dependable support.

These kinds of situations bring me to realize the most epic shows of support from my family. It was almost 7 years ago, and I was in the final stages of my adoption. I was scheduled to fly to Siberia to meet the baby that would become my youngest daughter. The way international adoptions work in Russia is that you take two trips. One to meet the baby, fill out the last bits of paperwork, then come home for a month while Russia finishes its paperwork. The first trip is for a little over a week. The second trip is typically a little bit more than a month. During my first adoption, my mom went on my first trip and my dad went with me for the month long trip. Some struggle while in Russia for that length of time. We loved and adored it! Magical. For adoption number two, we had decided to switch and let my mom go on the second, longer trip.
We had set our travel details, rec'd our visas, booked hotels, translators and coordinators, for the first trip and then the unthinkable happened, my grandmother, my dad's mother took ill, and passed away. She was 97. My thought was to go alone. Of course my dad couldn't go and miss his mother's funeral..I begged him to let me go alone. The trip was organized by both Russians and Americans, and not a detail was missed. But he wouldn't think of it. At 38 years of age, he still felt the need to protect me.Support, practical and dependable support.

And the support continues. He travels from Florida each month or so to visit my girls and I. (And my sister too). And my mother lives less than a mile away in order to be there for us. I walk around my life with an invisible net of practical, dependable, support. It allows me to take the risks of international adoption, being a single mother, homeowner, graduate student, and teacher. No one can see that net of support, but it's there..