Web of Support

The Web of Support

My parents are the top and most central in my support system.

Dad

As a child, I was the son my dad never had. He took me everywhere, and I was glad to go. I went to the farm offices to "play on the phones and played "secretary." I went hunting and fishing with him. He always had a supportive idea when I struggled to get along with my mom. I can remember lying on my back, starring at the underside of a vintage Ford Mustang watching my dad tinker, and listening to his ideas on how I could do things differently to get along with my sister and mom.

The support never ended. My dad traveled to Russia on two separate trips for me to adopt two baby girls. On my first adoption we had to stay in Russia for a month. He gladly did it. He adores my daughters and comes from Florida to Virginia every 5 or 6 weeks to visit us, excuse me, THEM!

Living my life knowing there is a safety net below me gives me the courage to do things I might not have done if my parents were less supportive.

Mom

My mom was a task master when I was little. She expected far more than I felt I could give. She was the chore maker, homework checker, and rule enforcer. She was also the principal of the school I attended. She was tough. For a while, I wanted to but her in a box and send her to Alaska. But looking back, she had to be that way to me. I was a silly, chatty, social child who cared more about friendships than grades. I had to tow the line for my mom, because I couldn't have cared less about assignments and tests. But mom held fast. She meant what she said, and only said what she meant. I appreciate her devotion to getting me through puberty, high school, and college. I wasn't an easy child! I partied too much in college, a private institution that politely DISMISSED me after a 2.5 years of social infractions and less than stellar grades. That is when my mom nurtured me in the way I needed to be nurtured. Instead of sending me to the school that I would accept me and all me childish flaws, she made me come home. Home to my small town and go to the community college to retake all the courses that wouldn't transfer, and then she would only allow me to go to the school that was in driving distance to complete my degree. It was humiliating. I had to sit at our dining room table and complete my homework. Keggers, sororities, frat parties were over. My dear mother would say, "I will get you through college if it's the last thing I ever do" And she did. I owe her my education. I chose to be a teacher because nursing took longer, because graphic design wasn't a guarantee to employment. And that's what I wanted. I wanted a job, so that I could get out of my childhood home...

 

My mom also traveled twice to Russia. My parents took turns going on each of the trips so that I wouldn't have to travel alone. I wasn't afraid, they were. And it all worked out.

My mom retired when I adopted my first baby girl. She moved from Florida to Virginia to be with my gal while I worked. She is ever present in our lives and is with my little family everyday. We visit, brainstorm, travel, and enjoy our time together.

Sis

My sister and I have always had a complex relationship. We are night and day. Actually we are last night and two days later! She is sporty and always in a relationship. I was a cheerleader and oboe player and always with a giant group of girls. As young children she was the boss. We played her games and she insisted on teaching me about every sport. I was always afraid of sporty games. I am of the age that Marsha Brady's dreaded nose incident played heavily on my mind...

As much as my sister bossed me, I knew she loved me and would be there if anyone bothered me. We are much closer in adulthood. She traveled to Moscow for each of the "bring the baby home" trip. She instantly loved both of my girls and spends lots of weekends with them. We always take a summer vacation together just to have fun girl time.

 

Just A Small Town Girl...

When you grow up in a small town, you are supported by many, many, adults. I was lucky enough to be a cheerleader, oboe player, yearbook representative, SGA president, senior play cast member, and all around busy girl. Every person who led those groups became very important in my life. Mrs. Sizemore, my cheerleading sponsor was the first adult I told about my parents divorce. You see, I was the only girl who had parents that were divorcing. The small town took it hard. My mom being the school principal had support, but it didn't look good for her. So our little family kept it a secret.

 

Of support I felt outside of my parents, my community offered the most. After 45 years, my favorite people are still those from my home town..I still adore those teachers, coaches, friends and first loves..

First loves, best friends..they stay in the life of a small town girl, and keep offering encouragement and wise advice.

   First Love in the 80's 

To Good Friends with our Kids in the 2K

 

No self respecting child of the 80's could ever reflect without adding the Material Girl..