MicroAgressions in Real Time

Over the Memorial Day holiday, my daughters and my mom went to the National Harbor. We go each year and stay at the Gaylord Hotel. This year there was a Saudi Arabian Government sponsored graduation event. All Saudi citizens  graduating with their masters attending colleges and universities  throughout the United States are invited to participate in a single ceremony that allowed family and friends to attend. Additionally there were 100's of employers there with non-stop interview sessions for the candidates.
The hotel was completely overbooked and 95% percent of the guests were Saudi families.

We were fascinated by the varying degrees of clothing options that women chose. Also fascinating was the family dynamics we could observe. My girls are used to seeing scarved women, but my mom was somewhat overwhelmed. At one point we were sitting outside around a fire pit and my mom asked a woman if she spoke English. The woman replied, "Of course!" My mom went on to ask her about her clothing and if she was hot wearing the additional garments. The woman kindly replied that it is much warmer in Saudi and so she felt the temperature was nice.
Although my mom didn't mean to offend, I am sure this woman felt some level of embarrassment from the questions. I am sure she has answered that question hundreds of times. As Dr. Sue mentioned in the Laureate video, we often don't know we have offended, and I am sure my mom meant nothing by it. But it is those everyday indignities that stick with a person and cause deep level hurts.

I enjoyed being semi immersed in the Saudi world for the weekend. It was amazing to see so many mothers graduating!

Diversity and Culture?

 “Diversity is what we live each day.”                                     - elementary teacher

“We are diversity”                                                                   - elementary teacher

“Culture is the part that keeps groups together. It’s the easy and fun stuff like music, art, literature, foods, and celebrations.”                           -elementary teacher

 

 

*Many responses described surface level culture. Many consider diversity to be based on race and ethnicity.

 

Omitted Areas Discussed

Many did not share the culture of THEIR specific family. Many did not share the role of required/legal culture. (Those required by the government of their country of origin).

 

Several answers in regards to culture, family, identity, and diversity influenced my own thinking. When listening to a dear colleague discuss her family, I was reminded that there are people in the world who still view groups as “them” and feel obliged to judge the cultural choices of others.

3 Items That Would Accompany Our Family In Case of Emergency

*COC's for each daughter
Both of my daughters are adopted from Russia as babies. Their Certificate of Citizenship is the one document that makes them AMERICAN citizens. Even if our family were to be relocated, it would be important, critical to have this document.

*Adoption ScrapBook for Big Girl

*Adoption ScrapBook for the Wee One

Although photos can be reprinted, and many pictures are saved online in various locations, there are many bits and pieces of each daughters contained in their adoption scrapbooks. Items such as reciepts, hotel keys, medicine wrappers, tickets to ballets while in Russia, restaraunt napkins, and a variety of items from each of the four trips to Russia.


 If I found that I could only keep one item, I would have to keep the girls' COCs as this is their legal paperwork. I'd be broken hearted to lose their scrapbooks. Mostly broken hearted for the girls.

I realize that "things" aren't as important to me as I thought they would be. Although I would be devastated if I lost items, in reality photos are online and everywhere so I could almost recreate many memorable moments.

Perspectives on Diversity and Equity (EDUC - 6164 - 2)

Starting the newest course...(EDUC - 6164 - 2).
Looking forward to sharing with lots of new classmates!
Have a good weekend everyone!

jg

Micro Aggressions

It didn't happen this week, but it has happened often in relationship to me having daughters that are born in Russia.

"Why didn't you adopt in the US? There are many needy children here."

"Do your girls know their REAL mom?"

"Don't you hate it that your girls were born in Russia since they are so against the US?"

It could go on and on..Most don't mean to be ignorant, but it is exhausting at times to here these things..When I adopted, Russian American relations were fine, and now that we hate each other, I get the comments much more. Thank you Putin.

I just hope that my girls don't here it too much when I am not around. I don't want that stress on them.

Week 3

Many friends consider the history of their family to be part of their culture. Language, religion, ethnicity, and traditions, are the main elements that most colleagues used to define CULTURE.

Many consider diversity as different races, cultures, religious groups and political affiliations.

Because I gathered my results from coworkers, we tend to share very similar ideas on culture and diversity. 

Culture and Diversity

I have loads of friends who are from different countries, faiths, and points of view...
Most think that culture is about Where they come from..What their family finds valuable..And Why families hold these beliefs...

Some of my friends face micro-agression as indicated by Dr. Sue. Most on a basic level, by well meaning friends. I have always heard adoptive parents speak of the comments made to them, but honestly I have never been affected by those comments. Beleive me, I hear them too.

--WOW, your daughters look like they could be your REAL daughters.---
How much did you pay for your daughter?---
---Couldn't you adopt in American?---
---Do your daughters know their real mom?---

But being the comments come from well meaning people, I let it go..AND because these microaggressions are the least of who I am, I let them go..I am so much more than an adopted mother, and the comments are mild at best..I haven't faced them all my life, nor do people make them unless they know I am an adoptive mother, which is my choice to share...So, as Pete the Cat says, "I am allll goooood."